Funny

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Here is a textbook definition of a beer run. This beer baron swiped 5 cases from a convenience store in the 5000 block of Little School Road and took off. He left in a Gray Dodge truck. 📞 Det. Thompson if you recognize him, 817-459-6054 or email, [email protected]

ARLINGTON, Texas – Police are looking for a beer baron who stole several cases of beer from a convenience store.

Arlington PD tweeted pictures Wednesday of the man who stole five cases of Bud Light from a store in the 5000 block of Little School Road.

Police say the suspect got away in a gray Dodge truck.

A Canadian man found another use for his bong after using it to fend off four thieves who were attempting to rob a cannabis dispensary. The masked individuals, who entered the store while brandishing canisters of bear spray, were met with great resistance by the store clerk. The store clerk managed to successfully fight the suspects off with a bong and force them out of the store.

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A suspect has been identified as the suspect in connection with a crime in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, thanks in part to the help of a simple, hand-drawn sketch provided by a witness. A criminal complaint has been filed against Hung Phuoc Nguyen, 44, charging him with two counts of theft by unlawful taking.

‘While the sketch provided by the witness may have appeared amateurish and cartoonish, it, along with the distinctive physical descriptors, jogged the memory of at least one investigator to provide a potential suspect name.

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An unlicensed Florida masseuse has caused a massage parlor to be one employee short after an undercover vice sting collared her for allegedly offering to use her hand to “masturbate the detective” for an additional $60.

70-year-old Sun Hee Gribat was arrested on January 13th at Jax Therapy in Jacksonville when cops started looking into the business following reports that female employees performed sex acts on their customers.

An undercover detective paid Ms. Gribat $70 for a 30-minute rubdown. During the massage, the cops say, she “offered to masturbate the detective for additional $60.00.”

She was taken into custody for prostitution, as well as for unlicensed practice of a health care profession.

She was released after spending a day in jail when she posted her bond.

She’d been arrested in 2014 on a prostitution charge as well. 67 at the time, she was working at another massage parlor when she’d offered to help out another undercover cop in the same manner. She was given a one-year deferred prosecution sentence after taking a plea deal in that case.

 

A north Carolina man kicked the door in to a stranger’s apartment on December 26th. His mistake, however, makes for one hell of a memorable mugshot.

27-year-old Matthew Lawrence Bergstedt met face-to-face with the shocked resident’s firewood.

That resident beat him over the head, giving him the injuries you see above.

After the beating, he staggered away and broke into another (but vacant) apartment close by.

He was charged with breaking and entering and attempted breaking and entering.

 

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An Arizona man made a bizarre choice during a police chase Wednesday night, where he was the suspect in an aggravated domestic violence case; he stopped by an In-N-Out Burger’s drive-thru.

35-year-old Joshua Adkins appeared to order food, but then drove away without picking it up and got out of his truck a short time later. He then ran into a backyard and tried to get into a house through a back door.

When he couldn’t get in, he surrendered to police and was taken into custody.

He was charged with unlawful flight from law enforcement, aggravated assault-domestic violence, and unlawful imprisonment.

 

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A Tennessee man wearing nothing but a smile and carrying an unopened can of Coors Light was arrested at about 3:30 a.m. Friday after numerous 911 calls reporting a naked white male pounding on windows and doors.

27-year-old Joshua Ivy was discovered “completely naked and appeared extremely intoxicated” when officers arrived on the scene. When asked how much alcohol he’d consumed, through extremely slurred speech, he responded that he couldn’t remember.

He couldn’t even remember how he’d gotten where he was.

When asked about the pounding on windows and doors, he didn’t hesitate; he was looking for someone to have sex with.

He was arrested for misdemeanor disorderly intoxication and spent roughly five hours in custody before posting a $1000 bond.

 

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A Wyoming man who’d arranged to pay a prostitute with a McDonald’s Quarter Pounder and French fries was taken into custody when he showed up for the illegal encounter with food in hand. It turned out it was a police sting.

22-year-old David Mangus answered an ad on Backpage.com that police had posted, pretending to be a prostitute looking for clients. He then arranged to meet the hooker for sex, but offered up a Mcdonald’s Quarter Pounder with cheese and a medium order of fries for both oral sex and intercourse.

He was arrested as soon as he arrived to meet the non-existent lady of the night. He was carrying the bag of fast food when undercover officers placed him under arrest.

He was charged with misdemeanor soliciting prostitution and was booked into the Natrona County jail. He was later released.

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A Florida man was arrested earlier this month after telling cops that he “didn’t notice” the firearm he was sitting on when he was pulled over.

34-year-old Christopher Battles was the passenger in a car that was pulled over by cops on October 6th. Officers noticed the smell of marijuana flowing out of the car.

Officers say they saw the butt of a pistol near Mr. Battles’ leg. When they brought this to their attention, he told them that he “just jumped” into the seat and “didn’t recognize by sight or feel” the gun and ammo that he was sitting on.

He continued to deny ownership or knowledge of the gun while being read his rights.

He was arrested and charged with possession of a firearm and ammunition by a convicted felon.

 

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A Florida man tried to run from a Walmart with two stolen TVs, but he ran right out of his pants – literally. Those pants contained his identification.

45-year-old Columbus Henderson took off running from a Walmart Supercenter on September 26th with two 40-inch TVs after the cashier had already scanned them.

As he ran across the parking lot, his pants fell to his ankles, and he didn’t skip a step, leaving them behind. The entire incident was captured on surveillance footage as well.

It took authorities roughly a week to track down the 350-pound man, but he was taken into custody in the early morning hours of October 4th.

When he was transported to the Pinellas County jail, he told officers that he’d had a crack pipe stashed in his rectum. He then dropped it on the ground after already having retrieved it.

Cops picked it up and added a charge of possession of drug paraphernalia to his charge of grand theft; a felony.

He remains in custody in lieu of a $2150 bond.

 

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A New Jersey man was spotted by fellow fellow beach-goers wearing nothing but a plastic wrap bikini.

59-year-old Stephen Wojciehowski was collared last week by Long Beach Island police after being spotted for two days by various lovers of the surf wearing the revealing outfit. His genitals were clearly visible.

He’s been released on bond and is awaiting his court date on a charge of lewdness; a misdemeanor.

 

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A creepy clown, as depicted in a nationwide rash of such sightings of these makeup-clad demons purportedly luring kids into wooded areas, was taken into custody by Kentucky police Friday.

20-year-old Jonathan Martin’s arrest comes amid reports of suspicious clowns in at least six other states.

Mr. Martin had been seen crouched next to a wooded area near an apartment complex in the full clown get-up.

When an officer stopped, Martin started running.

He was charged with disorderly conduct and wearing a mask in public.

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A Missouri man was cited after a sheriff’s deputy spotted him smoking a pipe and exhaling “a cloud of smoke” and his vehicle having a brake light out.

The deputy pulled 21-year-old Benjamin Hensley over and, as two deputies approached, they smelled the unmistakable odor of weed coming from inside the car.

One of the two deputies asked him what he’d been smoking, and Mr. Hensley pointed to an avocado in the center console’s cup-holder.

He explained that he’d made it into a weed pipe himself, then handed it to over.

Being the ever-helpful guy, he then reached into the center console and took out a bag of weed and handed that over as well.

He was ticketed for marijuana possession and possession of drug paraphernalia.

The avocado was confiscated as evidence.

Mr. Hensley is due in court on October 17th.