Funny

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A suspect has been identified as the suspect in connection with a crime in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, thanks in part to the help of a simple, hand-drawn sketch provided by a witness. A criminal complaint has been filed against Hung Phuoc Nguyen, 44, charging him with two counts of theft by unlawful taking.

‘While the sketch provided by the witness may have appeared amateurish and cartoonish, it, along with the distinctive physical descriptors, jogged the memory of at least one investigator to provide a potential suspect name.

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An unlicensed Florida masseuse has caused a massage parlor to be one employee short after an undercover vice sting collared her for allegedly offering to use her hand to “masturbate the detective” for an additional $60.

70-year-old Sun Hee Gribat was arrested on January 13th at Jax Therapy in Jacksonville when cops started looking into the business following reports that female employees performed sex acts on their customers.

An undercover detective paid Ms. Gribat $70 for a 30-minute rubdown. During the massage, the cops say, she “offered to masturbate the detective for additional $60.00.”

She was taken into custody for prostitution, as well as for unlicensed practice of a health care profession.

She was released after spending a day in jail when she posted her bond.

She’d been arrested in 2014 on a prostitution charge as well. 67 at the time, she was working at another massage parlor when she’d offered to help out another undercover cop in the same manner. She was given a one-year deferred prosecution sentence after taking a plea deal in that case.

 

A north Carolina man kicked the door in to a stranger’s apartment on December 26th. His mistake, however, makes for one hell of a memorable mugshot.

27-year-old Matthew Lawrence Bergstedt met face-to-face with the shocked resident’s firewood.

That resident beat him over the head, giving him the injuries you see above.

After the beating, he staggered away and broke into another (but vacant) apartment close by.

He was charged with breaking and entering and attempted breaking and entering.

 

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An Arizona man made a bizarre choice during a police chase Wednesday night, where he was the suspect in an aggravated domestic violence case; he stopped by an In-N-Out Burger’s drive-thru.

35-year-old Joshua Adkins appeared to order food, but then drove away without picking it up and got out of his truck a short time later. He then ran into a backyard and tried to get into a house through a back door.

When he couldn’t get in, he surrendered to police and was taken into custody.

He was charged with unlawful flight from law enforcement, aggravated assault-domestic violence, and unlawful imprisonment.

 

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A Tennessee man wearing nothing but a smile and carrying an unopened can of Coors Light was arrested at about 3:30 a.m. Friday after numerous 911 calls reporting a naked white male pounding on windows and doors.

27-year-old Joshua Ivy was discovered “completely naked and appeared extremely intoxicated” when officers arrived on the scene. When asked how much alcohol he’d consumed, through extremely slurred speech, he responded that he couldn’t remember.

He couldn’t even remember how he’d gotten where he was.

When asked about the pounding on windows and doors, he didn’t hesitate; he was looking for someone to have sex with.

He was arrested for misdemeanor disorderly intoxication and spent roughly five hours in custody before posting a $1000 bond.

 

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A Wyoming man who’d arranged to pay a prostitute with a McDonald’s Quarter Pounder and French fries was taken into custody when he showed up for the illegal encounter with food in hand. It turned out it was a police sting.

22-year-old David Mangus answered an ad on Backpage.com that police had posted, pretending to be a prostitute looking for clients. He then arranged to meet the hooker for sex, but offered up a Mcdonald’s Quarter Pounder with cheese and a medium order of fries for both oral sex and intercourse.

He was arrested as soon as he arrived to meet the non-existent lady of the night. He was carrying the bag of fast food when undercover officers placed him under arrest.

He was charged with misdemeanor soliciting prostitution and was booked into the Natrona County jail. He was later released.

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A Florida man was arrested earlier this month after telling cops that he “didn’t notice” the firearm he was sitting on when he was pulled over.

34-year-old Christopher Battles was the passenger in a car that was pulled over by cops on October 6th. Officers noticed the smell of marijuana flowing out of the car.

Officers say they saw the butt of a pistol near Mr. Battles’ leg. When they brought this to their attention, he told them that he “just jumped” into the seat and “didn’t recognize by sight or feel” the gun and ammo that he was sitting on.

He continued to deny ownership or knowledge of the gun while being read his rights.

He was arrested and charged with possession of a firearm and ammunition by a convicted felon.

 

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A Florida man tried to run from a Walmart with two stolen TVs, but he ran right out of his pants – literally. Those pants contained his identification.

45-year-old Columbus Henderson took off running from a Walmart Supercenter on September 26th with two 40-inch TVs after the cashier had already scanned them.

As he ran across the parking lot, his pants fell to his ankles, and he didn’t skip a step, leaving them behind. The entire incident was captured on surveillance footage as well.

It took authorities roughly a week to track down the 350-pound man, but he was taken into custody in the early morning hours of October 4th.

When he was transported to the Pinellas County jail, he told officers that he’d had a crack pipe stashed in his rectum. He then dropped it on the ground after already having retrieved it.

Cops picked it up and added a charge of possession of drug paraphernalia to his charge of grand theft; a felony.

He remains in custody in lieu of a $2150 bond.

 

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A New Jersey man was spotted by fellow fellow beach-goers wearing nothing but a plastic wrap bikini.

59-year-old Stephen Wojciehowski was collared last week by Long Beach Island police after being spotted for two days by various lovers of the surf wearing the revealing outfit. His genitals were clearly visible.

He’s been released on bond and is awaiting his court date on a charge of lewdness; a misdemeanor.

 

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A creepy clown, as depicted in a nationwide rash of such sightings of these makeup-clad demons purportedly luring kids into wooded areas, was taken into custody by Kentucky police Friday.

20-year-old Jonathan Martin’s arrest comes amid reports of suspicious clowns in at least six other states.

Mr. Martin had been seen crouched next to a wooded area near an apartment complex in the full clown get-up.

When an officer stopped, Martin started running.

He was charged with disorderly conduct and wearing a mask in public.

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A Missouri man was cited after a sheriff’s deputy spotted him smoking a pipe and exhaling “a cloud of smoke” and his vehicle having a brake light out.

The deputy pulled 21-year-old Benjamin Hensley over and, as two deputies approached, they smelled the unmistakable odor of weed coming from inside the car.

One of the two deputies asked him what he’d been smoking, and Mr. Hensley pointed to an avocado in the center console’s cup-holder.

He explained that he’d made it into a weed pipe himself, then handed it to over.

Being the ever-helpful guy, he then reached into the center console and took out a bag of weed and handed that over as well.

He was ticketed for marijuana possession and possession of drug paraphernalia.

The avocado was confiscated as evidence.

Mr. Hensley is due in court on October 17th.

 

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An Iowa man was arrested Tuesday night for measuring his penis with a cardboard ruler while he was standing at a urinal inside the University of Iowa’s Main Library’s bathroom back on May 7th.

42-year-old Thomas Morgan was inside the restroom when he partially turned his body towards the victim/witness who’d been using another urinal in the bathroom. He then, according to a criminal complaint,  “measured his penis against a cardboard ruler.”.

The victim told an officer that Mr. Morgan then “made a comment regarding his size.” The unnamed man added that on top of two of the urinals were cardboard rulers with “dark sharpie markings regarding penis size.”

The victim told authorities that he “felt weird and uncomfortable” seeing the suspect’s “semi erect penis.”

During questioning, Morgan is said to have admitted that he’d measured himself with the ruler. He denied, however, “being aroused”.

He was, charged with misdemeanor indecent exposure and booked into the Johnson County jail before being released a short time later.

His court date is scheduled for a September 23rd and he’s been ordered to have no contact with the victim.

 

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A Kansas man accused of robbing a bank told cops that he’d rather be in prison than live with his wife.

70-year-old Lawrence John Ripple had handed a note to a bank teller in Kansas City this past Friday. It said he had a gun and demanded cash. He took the money and went and sat in the lobby where he told a guard he was the “guy he was looking for.”

Cops arrived very quickly.

According to the arrest affidavit, Mr. Ripple had been arguing with his wife earlier that day, and told authorities that he wrote the note in front of her, telling her he would “rather be in jail than at home.”

He was charged with bank robbery.

 

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A Florida man wanted on two outstanding warrants was arrested Tuesday after cops found that he’d changed his Facebook profile picture to his own “Wanted” poster.

Mack Yearwood helped authorities track him down via social media and is now facing additional charges after a bag of weed fell out of his pocket while he was being taken into custody.

He was wanted in Citrus County for violation of probation on two counts of battery.

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A good friend made a very poor decision this past Sunday morning around 3 a.m.

Two of 20-year-old Jocelyn Reardon’s friends had been arrested two hours earlier and she was heading to pick them up. She herself was arrested for being drunk when she did so.

She was found drunk behind the wheel by Troy Police in the parking lot of the district courthouse.

She told the officers that a male friend had been with her and that he’d done most of the driving, but she confessed to driving to the place where they’d found her. According to those officers, Ms. Reardon’s speech was slurred.

The friend she was picking up included a 23-year-old female who’d been driving drunk, and was found to be naked from the waist down.

Her other friend was 19 years old and likewise drunk.

Reardon and her 23-year-old cohort were cited for operating a motor vehicle under the influence of alcohol, while her younger friend was hit with a misdemeanor charge of consuming alcohol while under the age of 21.

 

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An Ohio man attracted attention to himself when he started acting like a gorilla and began masturbating on the sidewalk.

32-year-old Timothy Cook was the subject of a few 911 calls about two “white males running around the lot taking off their clothes.”

Mr. Cook had reportedly been “growling and punching the cement.”

He’d reportedly gone into a state motor vehicles office and started waving his arms around. He then left the building and started masturbating on the sidewalk, according to the police report.

When an officer approached him, he starting sweating profusely and acted like a gorilla. He, according to an officer, was “squatting on all fours, punching the blacktop and jumping up and down screaming noncoherently. [sic]”

He was then arrested and put into an ambulance to check him out. EMTs treated him, purportedly for an apparent overdose, although it hasn’t been indicated what the drug(s) may have been.

He’s been charged with disorderly conduct while intoxicated.

His partner in oddity, 24-year-old Osmond LeMasters, was charged with the same thing.

 

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A Nebraska man was spotted on two separate occasions purportedly masturbating in his car. His explanation for what he was actually doing didn’t convince cops.

21-year-old Nathan Grimes was spotted last Wednesday afternoon outside of a convenience store by a 35-year-old woman who peered into his white Mazda as she passed by. She claims he was masturbating.

Then, on Monday morning, a 49-year-old woman spotted him doing what she claimed was the same disgusting act, but in front of a different convenience store. She called 911.

With license plate info and a description of the suspect in hand, cops paid him a visit at home.

He admitted to being at the stores in question, but claims he was “vigorously mixing his protein shake” when the women had each seen him. Cops didn’t buy it and hauled him in.

He was arrested on two charges of indecent exposure; misdemeanors.

He was booked into the Lancaster County jail and later released.

He’s next due in court on September 20th.

 

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An Ohio man has been arrested after allegedly trying to have sex with a van.

Michael Henson was arrested Tuesday after cops got a call around 8 p.m. for a man pulling his pants down and swinging on a stop sign.

When police arrived, they found him walking, dressed by this time, and he appeared to be intoxicated.

They put him in the back of a squad car while they spoke with the woman who’d made the call.

She told them she’d seen him standing near a parked van before pulling his shorts down and putting his penis into the front grill.

According to the woman, he did this for quite a while, then seemingly passed out in a nearby yard. That’s when she decided to call cops.

He was taken into custody on a charge of public indecency and now resides in the Montgomery County Jail.