Let’s say you’re a judge. Now, let’s say someone who currently resides in prison is begging you to release him so that he may donate to a sperm bank in what would likely be his last chance to “be fruitful and multiply.” Maybe you see both sides. Maybe you see a bit of remorse in the guy. Maybe you think he’s been reformed and simply wants to leave a token of his existence behind when he passes – so that the world has some “proof” that he ever existed? Well, let me alleviate all those inner dilemmas for you. The man currently begging Federal Judge Edward Korman for this unique privilege is a convicted child molester.
Yes, Yova Kana Shaday, 69, currently serving time in the Queens Correctional Facility, claims in Brooklyn Federal Court that he’s being robbed of his last opportunity to spread his seed and procreate. He’s afraid that once he’s released, he’ll be too old to donate his sperm. He wrote in his request to the court, “I pray the court would consider the very serious truth in releasing me” and made it a point to inform the court, “the gravity of this extenuating circumstance is in your hands.” He finishes up his heartfelt plea with, “your god lead you to be fruitful and multiply” and that his sperm donation is intended for a specific person.
His request was, as you’d expect, denied faster than you can spell “kiddie-fiddler.”

He’s in said correctional facility for failing to register as a sex offender in New York, which he’s supposed to do every year for the rest of his life. He’s facing up to 10 years on that charge.

Shaday had been convicted twice for child molestation in California; once in 2005 for committing a lewd act with a child under the age of 14, sentenced to three years in prison, and once again pleaded guilty in 2008 for molesting a child under the age of 18, for which he served 180 days in jail.

So how did he get nabbed in New York? Oh…well, police received a tip that he was living under a fake name back in November and confirmed as much when they showed his mugshot to his neighbors. They collared him when he reported his bicycle missing to the NYPD using that fake name; Lucas Avram.

As of now, it appears the only way Mr. Shaday’s seed will ever reach the outside world will be via a washing machine’s drain pipe.

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